WHERE DO I BELONG

In three months from now I cross the threshold of adolescence to face adulthood that too with poise and patience which I believe I havent been blessed with. With no idea of where I belong and where I should be,I find myself somewhat lost.”Originality” is a thing of past today. In this big bad world there are wolves roaming and to hunt you need to fit in a pack.But Here I am the lone wolf with reasons of 

Why I don’t find a place out here. 

I had a liking for subjects like polity So, it was quite obvious that this will be my subject of study.The sole reason being that this subject worked on opinions but lately did I realise it was never my opinion. My work was just to cram up those irrational ideas of others which in the outer world would not hold a ground. I was taught that India is a secular country and i had no rights to question my book whatsoever. So, what happened was I was a secularist with no malice in heart and no enmity in my mind.
But my ideas were questioned out here, with sides to choose from I was left stranded on an island where no boats visited.
Secondly,
The second most important thing you must have is a girlfreind.Where you can invest your non-precious time or your  parents hard-earned money or probably both.Love the most hyped word was something that never went through.Every now and then a new poem on broken heart or some other story of someone cured changed my definition. All I knew was affection, and there are only two sides of this story i.e what you feel for others and what other feels for you. So , what is love in all this if that affection is love why does it vanishes off so suddenly.I do not hate girls nor that I don’t respect them but at this point in my life in my life I do not need them. I have some very good friends and few great desires and I need to check all my boxes in this one life.
But it never works this way out right you need to have girlfriend.
………..too be continued…….

A caged bird

I have a bird inside me caged                     But She never wishes to fly                        She says chains brings her joy 

Strange isn’t it,
Feeding on my sorrows she lives                 In the dark dungeons of my heart       Hiding behind all my scars…. 

Aloof alone from the world                          She lies in a peaceful sleep                      Now you know,                                           Why I never cry nor do I weep

Pashmina

As I turned fourteen that year
My grandma gifted me
some soft gold A pashmina
All gold and silver just like
Heavens above emnating peace

As nights grew darker
I would crawl inside it
And its warmth rendered
Calmness to the rattled soul

I wondered of hands that
had woven love
And the music it had encased
Soft faint cooing of dove

Endless nights I had slept
Wrapped into it and
Dreamt of snow gently
Kissing those leaves of chinar
 
But,
Just today when I tried to
cuddle inside it
I felt numbness sweeping
Over my soul….
I saw stains of blood
I heard screams

My dreams are not of
Snow kissing chinars
But I see heaven burning
And I know my pashmina
Is’nt what it was before

The Magicians Trick

​I wish I could be a magician
Conjuring her out of dark
She who would sit beside me
Listening me while I talk

Moonlight flooding the vast skies
Stars playing with those flirtatious winds
under all theses we would take a long
Never ending tiresome walk..

Exhausted at last we would sit
and argue about the road to take
at that mystrious fork
But then she would see sun
creeping out Of the horizon
and dejected we will kiss
And embrace the dark….

I alone as I had been will walk back.

ICARUS

Today he is strong and mighty 
Flying towards the sun
But, I know his fate
He is Icarus and
His destiny is to fall

Strangee as it may sound
But the man who know not
What fear is…Will fear the moon

The cruel time will slap
His beautiful face
Leaving those unwanted scar’s
and a unloved wrecked heart ..

With no one by his side
For love he will carve
But he is Icarus
and his destiny is to fall 

I will not let him die

You slammed those books hard
Never knowing how much it hurts
Nearly choking him..but
broken battered barely breathing 
I have kept him alive….

And then your boxes
Which time time to time
I needed to tick….Exams
Jobs…Carear….life
Made him a ghost of himself
But however blemished..bruised
He now lies
I have kept him alive

But I Now realise
He needs to have a pie
A pie of my life….
He needs to be my side
When I take those strides
Leaps above from my fright I will not let the child in me die